Disasters? Make Mine Mayan!
Forget about the Fiscal Cliff! It’s not happening… no I don’t mean Obama and Congress will or won’t work out a budget solution by the December 31 deadline. I’m just saying it doesn’t matter. Why? Haven’t you heard? The world is toast on December 21, 2012!
Yes, if you place disasters next to each other, the Mayan Apocalypse trumps the Fiscal Cliff! By a long shot! As the song says, “it’s the end of the world as we know it”! Good-bye 2012, may old acquaintance be forgot!
According to many soothsayers and doomsday predictors the world’s axis will flip on its sweet magnetic poles and the vacation you planned to the Outer Banks this summer, your 25th anniversary cruise you plunked down big bucks for and the hoards of money you’ve invested in blue chip stocks will be history! That family reunion you planned this summer has been moved to a new venue… please show your ID to the angel at the Pearly Gates to confirm your new reservation!
The 5,125-year-old Mayan calendar, also known as the Long Count calendar, begins in 3114 B.C. and ends, of course, on 12/21/2012. The Mayan version calendar is based on a 20-day cycle in 394 increments known as baktuns. Dec. 21 marks the end of 13 baktuns and the conclusion of a key cycle of time.
But are Mayans worried? If they are they are ignoring the signs and betting on a Mayan cash cow. And their Cancun Maya Museum is set to open for 12/21/2012! The “End of the World” Mayan Tourism Consortium wants the last thing you see before you say bon voyage to Terra Firma is its Mayan relics and stone calendars and anything else that will enlighten you for your journey to the other side of the Galactic Alignment (yes the sun is set to align itself with the core of our galaxy on 12/21/2012!!) Be sure to sign up for a Mayan Enlightenment Seminar and learn why these advanced people bit the dust eons ago!
But better yet why not trade in your 2013 vacation for a “last cruise in the world” party on December 21! Why not go out in style if you’re going to go. Forget the college fund cause it’s going down the Mayan Disaster drain. Or… so they say!
Then again I saw one ad which said “Celebrate the End of the Old World of Darkness… And the Beginning of a New World of Light”!
Now that sounds more hopeful but it probably costs more because it’s a round trip ticket. True Mayan Disaster Cruises are strictly one way! So make your plans now for Armageddon, Revival or both!
Why stay home when disaster can be shared at some exotic location near a Mayan Temple at End of the World prices… and if you survive you tell your friends and kids where you were the day the earth stood still and then kept going. And you can write a blog called “How I Survived The Mayan Apocalypse and Learned to Accept My Galactic Aligned Destiny!” Now isn’t that better than “How I Survived The Fiscal Cliff and Found an Overseas Tax Shelter!”